Two things happened that led to my final breaking point.
For one, it was around April (so 5 month after the final decision) and he still had not moved out. The tension grew, the mood got worse and worse and it got harder every day. I needed this to be over! Not only for my sake but also for the sake of our child. Of course she recognized the mood and of course she picked up on what was happening. I already told you that she was terribly fixated on Mr. M. because she tried desperately to get his attention. He laconically came home every evening and lived next to me in silence. He was supposedly looking for a new apartment, meaning he sporadically checked the ads and made observations like: „Ah..No…this one doesn’t have a garage for my car.“ or „Ah..no my car does not fit in there.“ or „No, I don’t want a shared laundry room in the basement, I don’t want to use the washing machine.“
Let me be clear on something: Yes, we live in a city with extremely expensive rents and housing shortage but as a single man with the amount of money Mr. M. makes you do find an apartment if you really want. In my opinion, when you face a situation like that, you have to do something about it. It also might be considered prudent to go for something not that big and affordable because you face the situation to rearrange your entire life. Call me crazy but I would go for an apartment with 2 rooms for myself, of course something that has a nice bathroom etc. A laundry room in the basement would mean I do not have to spent money for a new washing machine and an apartment with a kitchen would mean I don’t have to buy a new one.
Another problem – for me- was that he still slept in our bed every night. Let me explain why, because of course I could have banned him to the sofa. I did that once and I immediately had to witness that it distressed our child enormously. In the middle of the night she woke up and was torn between him on the sofa and me in bed, she came to me and then she woke up again and went to him, she cried and did not know what to do. I could not do this to her, he needed to be gone or sleep in the bed. If he wasn’t there at all she was able to deal with it but she wasn’t able to understand that.
He had to leave or my daughter would get even more unhappy.
Funny thing: During that time we once got back to the issue of how we would handle the alimony question.
He explained to me the following: Yeah well, he would be willing to give me money here and there, like when he has something left but he does not want to get pinned down on a certain figure. (!!!!!!!!!!!!) Like…what???
He, his highness, does not want to be pinned down to a certain amount of money he has to pay….ah, like…no, why would anyone pin him down like every other father in the entire country? Not him, of course not! It’s not like there are laws in our justice system for that…nooooo.
Well, yeah…after a little over 5 month enduring this game I snapped and told him if he would not immediately leave this apartment I would take his daughter and leave until he was out. I was fully prepared to do so, I would just do what he refused to. Take a nice little apartment for 3 month and live there. You know, you can get those overnight, no problem! Before you tear everything to shreds and let the spiral get out of control you leave! He could have easily done that.
He still did not react!! He didn’t!!! He was obviously fully prepared to let me leave the flat with our child instead of moving his ass! Right before I literally started packing he told me that he had just gotten a positive answer from one of the apartments he wanted and that he could move there on the 15th. (Like in one week).Okay – one more week I could do.
What happened next was, that his new landlord called and told him he could not move in because there was a problem with water and damp walls etc. and it was not foreseeable when the flat would be ready but since Mr. M. had already signed the lease for the first of June he can offer to pay for a hotel room (staring on the first) and he offered to pay for a storage room if Mr. M. would need one for his furniture.
So suddenly there was again an entire month without an apartment and Mr. M. again did not make a move to solve the situation. So I told him to tell his landlord he can save the money for storage space and pay for a hotel room earlier. I don’t care – he has to leave!
After all that arguing and explaining and begging him to get out I again had to threaten to not come back until he was gone before he finally got a short-term apartment and left.
Guess what…that was not even the worst of it; the final dick move has yet to be told…