During 2013 and 2014 I had the pleasure to catch the stomach flu several times. I already told you about that one time I had to get up at 3 in the morning and puked my guts out until Mr. M. asked me if I would drive our daughter to daycare.
In Nov. 2014 I had another infection that started in the late afternoon. My Mum came around and watched the kid until Mr. M. arrived at 8pm. I was in bed, the baby was asleep. Mr M. asked me from the hallway if I needed something ( he always asked this same question, very rehearsed never really meaning it, never just doing something!, just asking this perfunctory question) and than he sat down in front of his computer with headphones!!!
You realize what this means, do you? I am sick in bed and he puts on headphones so he would NOT be able to hear the baby cry if she did! So I was responsible for that!!!!
And once again, he did not think to ask me what would happen in the morning when she needed to go to daycare. He did neither suggest to take her there nor did he talk about the question how she would get there in the morning.
The next morning he did not move a finger. He lay in bed moaning around. I suspected he had gotten sick, too. It turned out that he felt sick because he drank to much wine the evening before! (While I puked)
Daycare? No…. he has to work…. call your mother!
So this contains several things:
He really thinks that it is okay and completely taken for granted to call my mother in the early morning out of the blue to tell her to take his daughter to daycare!
He drank too much while I was ill, did not care about anything and tells me he has to get to work.
I did mention it was a 10-15 minutes drive to daycare on his way to work , didn’t I?
I remember once I had to go to the dentist at 9.00 in the morning because I lost a filling.
He did not even cover that! He did not cover 2 hours so I could go to the dentist.
No, he did not have a job that day, he was booked for 15.00 o’clock.
I had to ask my mum to come to my apartment and watch my girl during my appointment.
For every single appointment I had to calle my mum. And I honestly had a few issues after the birth.
Mr. M. once again showed how much he cared when I had two strangely sore wrists. It went on for weeks, when I had to lift something or turned my hands the wrong way it hurt like hell. The orthopedist gave my cooling and calming bandages on my wrist, I had treatment and so on.
So what might that imply: It was painful for me to carry my daughter around, lift her up, get her in her bed and out again, into the tub and out again etc.
Do you want to guess how much work he took out of my hands when he was present??? I asked him once or twice if he would be so kind to bath his daughter because I wasn’t supposed to get the bandages wet but it was done only reluctantly so I ceased it.
I did every single appointment you have in the first months or first year in fact alone with her. Not one single vaccination or check up he came along. I remember him once with us at the pediatrician because I insisted but I think you know already how I feel about begging. In her first month the pediatrician sent me to an osteopath with my baby. I had about 10 appointments there, well she had in fact, I did it all by myself he did not take her or come with us once.
Maybe many of you think, well my husband also does neither of all that. Maybe I am overreacting but in addition to all the other things all the little details helped to make me feel even more alone and disappointed. Until there was nothing left but frustration an anger.