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Did I get off at the wrong station?

I already told you a little about my dad and his wife. The last time we talked was about one year ago when I told him I was practically not able to afford food at the moment and he told me to go to social services.

Why is this answer so scathing? Well I cannot tell you how much money he really has because I do not know it. I can only tell you that he is on holidays half the year and likes to drive speed boat. He had an own speed boat for a while now he only rents them. His wife tells me about all their holidays and how much the lobster costs in her favorite restaurant, he does not work because he sold his hotel and restaurant etc. For all of you out there who do not know about speed boats: One tank filling could probably pay half my new rent.

In summary they do nothing else than going out, eating and drinking, meeting friends every day and spend money.

Maybe you have the opinion that a father is not bound to help is daughter with money and of course you have the right to that opinion I see it differently.

He waited almost an entire year before he called me again and made some halfhearted amends but in the end he just wanted to pretend nothing had happened and go on like he always did. I am okay with him and his wife seeing my child, he is her grandfather in the end so like I had done repeatedly over the year I let it go.

The other day I went for lunch with them and once again I thought I got off at the wrong station several times.

My dad asked me if I had to invest much money into my new flat…like paint or something. I don’t know what he exactly wanted to know or what his inclination was but the question in itself was not formulated straight forward. I told him that we all know you need much money if you move. You need a lot of money for the deposit and I need a lot of things.

He nodded and that was that.

Then I told them that I needed a new washing machine and a new table and a sofa etc. this lead to the both of them thinking about where they might be able to find some used stuff for me! He honestly suggested I could take the table he had stored outside on his balcony for about a decade now or the table he had put outside in front of his door.

Please imagine his wife sitting in front of me wearing more bling then my Christmas tree, designer handbag on her lap and telling me I could take the old table from the balcony.

My „real“ family does everything to help me. My grandfather gave me money for the deposit because without it I would not even be able to move! My grandmother bought a new bed for my daughter because she needs a bigger one now. My mother saved money to help me with the move and my father tells me he has an old table I can take. And with old I mean practically bulk trash.

Another surreal moment was when she told me that she has all the old stuff from my grandmother (on my father’s side) in her cellar since she died two years ago and she does not know what to do with it. So I explained to her that I sell everything I do no longer need with a very easy and popular App for classifieds. I sell everything even if it only gets me 15€. Guess what? She suggested I could do this for her and we could split the money because I am so in need of money. Duly noted that she would still need half of the money. When I looked up what her stuff was worth she decided it is not enough for her efforts…..questions anyone?

Yeah, so I went home and no matter how often I tell myself to never expect anything and to never be surprised again I cannot completely turn off the disappointment. I cannot cease to imagine how easy it would be for him to buy me a new sofa at Ikea or a small washing machine.

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