Today I have to jump to the presence for a bit. It is Christmas in two days and of course a dick move happened.
I have to start at the 10th of November: We have a little celebration over here which is called „Saint Martin’s Day“. It is celebrated mostly with small children and what they do is, they craft lanterns and when it gets dark outside the kids light their lanterns and walk around the block singing songs. So, normally they celebrate this on the 11th of November which was a Friday, which was Mr. M’s turn to pick our daughter up. So he asked me a few days before that if there would be a celebration and what we should do. I suggested we could meet there for the procession and then he should take her home, like always.
Two days before the Kindergarden decided to do the procession one day early.
At the weekend Mr. M texted me and complained that I did not tell him because now our daughter tells him she was sad that he was not there.
Than he lectured me:
It does not matter if he cares about the celebration, it was important to his daughter and that’s what counts and he would have come for her!
-Please do keep this little speech in mind-
My answer to that was, if it is so very important to him how his daughter feels he should keep that in mind for Christmas. A day which does have real importance to his daughter and if he so much wishes to do her good I am very sure he’s going to come. Yes of course he’ll come!!! He’ll be there for the presents and leave again before dinner. Well, better than nothing and I figured if he left before dinner our daughter would have enough time to calm down again when he was gone and the rest of my family would still be there so it maybe would not get too hard for her that he would leaf.
I really gave this some thought I don’t just do things as they come… I always thing about what to do and how to do it best.
He told her that he would be there. He prepared her for his presence! She even told everyone in Kindergarden that her father is going to be with her at Christmas.
Please…please guess….what happened yesterday!!!!!
I should have known it would be far from over with this!
So two days before Christmas Mr M. announced he had to work an would probably not make it. So I prepared my daughter. I did not want her to find out at Christmas Eve by surprise. She was disappointed of course.In the early afternoon on Christmas day he messaged me that he maybe would make it after all. So back to square one…okay…at least my girl would be happy about this but I decided to no tell her again and just wait if he would do it before I had to disappoint her once more. I told him to please be there at 5 so he would be here for the handing out of presents. The next text told me he would maybe not make it until 5 and maybe show up later and that he had to get back to work after that.
That was the point when I told him that it would hurt his daughter more than do her any good if he just swept in and then leave again quickly. She would only be upset and cry and it would make her Christmas worse. In addition she was not very well I could already tell she would get ill and she was very agitated because everything that was going on and all the excitement it would not help her to cry and be sad on top if he leaves.
And I still believe that I was absolutely right about this.