In a few days my daughter gets her tooth removed in a small surgery.
In preparation for that I had to take her to her doctor and I had to take her to the dentist to talk everything through. It is not a big surgery but it is her first anesthesia and I am nervous. My little girl is going to be drugged into unconsciousness and she is not completely healthy – running nose and a cough, like every autumn and winter. The tooth has to go because it developed a big fistula and we cannot wait for weeks in the hope that the running nose might stop.
As much as the surgery might be routine and no big thing I am anxious.
Where her father plans to be while his child has her first operation? Well, not present, that‘s for sure.
What am I trying to say? Well my child has surgery. All the king‘s horses and all the king‘s men would not be able to keep me from going with her. Nothing in the world could make me leave her alone. I cannot fathom how it is even possible to say, I have to work, I cannot come. Under all circumstances I would find a way.
Surgery is over and what can I tell you? It was heartbreaking. After that my heart truly goes out for all the parents whose child is really sick. To see your child like that is unbearable. As much as the doctors do everything they can to make it easier for their little patients the moment when the needle comes out is terrible. Even if my daughter did not even see what was happening at her hand and even if we applied a numbing crème to her hand and she had gotten a calming medicine beforehand she panicked a little the second the doctor took her hand. We held her tight and I talked to her and tried to help her nonetheless it was a terrible minute or two. Afterwards the brought her out and placed her into the bed where she would wake up. She still had the incision on her hand, a syringe plugged in with an emergency medication ready to give it to her if necessary. They laid her down and overstretched her neck to make sure she could breathe the oxygen mask over her nose the fact that she had a cough did not make it easier. Even if it was all harmless it was very hard to see.
That was one of the moments I realized very clearly that I am alone in all the important moments of my child’s life. All the more laughable are insultingly senseless attempts of her father to act as if he cared.