I already mentioned that Mr. M with great pleasure always bought and still buys only the stuff with the most recognizable name on it. As long as it is a trademark it undoubtedly is best for you! Aside from the monetary reasons (remember he allegedly constantly faced poverty) there might be a few things an adult could know about food, especially when it is not your body to stuff it into but your daughter’s.
So going to the supermarket went like that:
Me: „I wanna buy some yogurt for her.“
Him: „Okay. Come on Sweetie, you can pick one.“
I did not even have to look which isle he was headed! The one with the most garish and colorful comic characters on the packing. The isle for „children’s food“!
No matter how often I explained it to him that the food that is „for children“ and is so beautifully colorful is exactly the food you do not buy because it has like double the amount of sugar and shit! It is not yogurt it is sweets.
All I got was a blank face and an unbelieving “but it’s for children” and the guarantee that if I was not with them he would buy exactly that and bring it home!
Now that he is alone with her regularly he is buying all that shit on a regular basis he even has the audacity to pack the rest of it into her bag to take it home! Just to show me that now he can buy “food for children”.
Please be very much reassured that I am by far no sugar Nazi! She gets sweets and cookies and everything but I do try to keep it at bay and I do try to not stuff it unconsciously into her because someone on TV told me it is good for my child!
Another food occasion I will always remember was. We want to a wholefoods market to pick up spaghetti sauce. There was – of course- a whole shelf with different sauces! My 40 year old husband reached for the one single glass with the funny comic tiger on it!
I have a very good friend who is vegan and she introduced me to a lot of vegan food, not to proselytize me it was just what she had at home when we visited for breakfast or whatever meal.
She always had tiny sausages made of soy (I think) and my daughter liked eating them. So I bought them a few times. I liked them, too btw.
He always made a show of looking at them like I had placed a heap of dogshit on the table. And not only those. I am lactose intolerant so I stick to soy milk and replace dairy products with other thing. I did that for years before we had a child and I like to buy vegan food because I can be sure it does not have dairy in it. I do not buy only vegan food, I have dairy products for my daughter and I do not feed her vegan I just mix it up and whatever she likes she can have.
Mr. M. made it his mission to always empathize that it is not real milk (you know when sometimes in the morning there was only soy milk left) and to always make some kind of derogatory comment about everything he guessed was the stuff from the wholefood market and to make sure he looked disgusted.
You know what I find heartbreakingly tragic about that?
Every sane adult should be very, very aware that there is nothing more important today than a healthy attitude toward food! Soy milk or not!
He did the same when I cooked something! He always looked extremely suspicious at the food and made it very, very clear that he was not sure if he wanted to eat it. Sometimes he ate it with an expression on his face like I was forcing him to eat slugs. (My daughter and I liked it btw and it absolutely was not slugs nor did it taste like that! It was just supposedly healthy). I don’t expect anyone to love my food, no but a behavior like that from a grown man towards his wife is just unnecessarily insulting.
What a message to a child!
Call me old fashioned but I am a firm believer in the easy rule that food should be eaten and not thrown away. Especially not when you’re an adult, you do not act like a five year old and tell me, “I don’t want my soup”.
When I stated something like: Let’s finish the bread it needs to be eaten or I have to throw it away. I do not want to hear from a grown man “but I don’t fancy bread right now.” Yes, maybe I would prefer Sushi right now, too but that does not mean I am willing to throw away the bred.
Is it really so absurd and stupid today to still thing having more food than you can possibly eat is a privilege?
Is it really so far fetched to teach your child that food is worth something? That it has a value? That, yes, you are privileged to have all that?
I do believe in that and I want my child to know that!