It is almost tragic to see how history repeats itself and that every generation of bad fathers seems to be as stupid as the one before.
Do they really do the identical things since roman times? You can kind of write a manual of „How bad fathers act“ and they will all follow the exact same instructions?
I am not talking about the obvious stuff of how those man behave, meaning things like: Not being there, being unreliable, not helping in anyway, not caring, cancelling whenever they want to etc. We are used to that and we know that’s what happens all the time. (That does not make it any better please do not misunderstand me)
But do those idiots have to aggravate the situation and emphasize their lack of care by making it patently obvious to their children?
If you know you cancel half the time why on god’s green earth make promises to your child! Why do you do that? It makes everything so much worse for your children. It hurts them so much more! It takes away their trust in you and it makes them even sadder you stupid f***s!
Why would you tell your daughter repeatedly, weeks before her birthday, that you are going to be there if you KNOW that you are going to take a job if one is offered to you!?!? Why, why, why?
Just shut your mouth and tell her you are not sure. Just don’t promise stuff you KNOW is far from certain.
If you do not promise her she will be happy if you make it and she won’t be that disappointed. She will be sad, of course, but she will not feel betrayed.
My father did the same thing to me. The one time I will always remember I was a teenager (maybe 17) and he had promised me to go on holidays with me. One week or two before the holidays he had found a new girlfriend and just told me succinctly that he would go to Ibiza with her. That was it, he did not even say he was sorry. I stood there and felt like a whole had opened in the ground under my feet.
Not to mention that I wouldn’t miss my daughter’s birthday for all the tea in China! Never in a million years would I take a job on that day, never.
And no matter how often you tell yourself and others that you have to take that job because you need the money that does not make it any more true.