Not even for your own child?
I knew it would be very hard for my daughter if Mr. M. would finally be gone. It would help her to solve the confusion but it would of course make her very sad.
So I did two things. First I went with her to a child psychologist. I started going there before he was gone and I thought and still think that it is no mistake to take all the help you can get for your child. Funny thing…no actually sad thing… the very first observation was my daughter’s immense longing for her father, although the man still lived at home! When my daughter sees other children on the streets with their fathers, she always feels the need to talk about that, almost like reassuring others that she too does have a father, although he is rarely with her (remember, still living at home).
The second thing was, I decided to get her a cat. She has always been crazy about animals and the psychologist also had the opinion that this could help very much. A cat I can manage because it is able to stay at home alone.
I was really lucky because I mentioned that I was looking for a cat to a friend of mine and I even told her which breed I wanted. (I googled that those are good for staying in the house.)
Imagine, only a few days later I got a call that a friend of a friend is going to have kittens in a few weeks. Perfect! Unfortunately it turned out that even with waiting long enough until the kittens were ready to leave their mother Mr. M. would still be at home when the cat was going to arrive.
Well it could not be helped. So at first I went to the guy who sold the kittens and looked at them etc. He suggested that I should bring my daughter along and show her the new friend.
Yes, I did that. a few days before we where allowed to take the cat home I went there with my daughter to see it.
Now, please everyone imagine the following scenario:
A four year old girl enters an apartment with 5 baby kittens and gets told that one of these tiny little sweet thing is going to be hers in one week.She played with the kittens and was completely thrilled. When we had to leave again she almost burst with the anticipation. Do you need more description or are you with me? I think you are with me. Everyone who has ever seen a child in front of a Christmas tree know what I am talking about.
Now imagine same child coming home and meeting her father immediately bursting out, huge smile on her face: „Daddy, daddy, I am going to get a kitten!!!“ Okay everyone, please, please try to imagine what you would say to named child? How would you react? Let me guess: You would probably at least pretend to be happy with her. Say something along the lines of „That’s amazing!“ even with a fake smile on your face just for the sake of this exited and totally thrilled four year old girl.
Would you do that?
Her father answered the following: „Dogs are way cooler.“
Should I even mention, that every single other grown up reacted exactly like I described it? No matter who, no matter if they liked or hated cats, no matter if they where even interested in the story….. they all did what you do if a child is so very happy about something new in their life.
Until this very day Mr. M. made it his mission the give his daughter a very disgusted look every time she talks about her cat! Even when they FaceTime he always makes sure too look disgusted and to add something at least subliminally negative about her cat or cats.
It is so pathetic and stupid I want to puke again.