Well after the broken promise „I’ll be there on your Birthday“ and „I’ll definitely be at your Birthday party“ we have the „I’ll pick you up from Kindergarten on Wednesday and we are going to visit your Grandparents“ – NOT, situation.
There are two sides of the „Daddy-Time“ Medal and they are both shitty.
One side is the constantly broken promises toward his daughter, obviously.
The other side is the never ending power to make my life complicated. He has the wonderful possibility to eternally wank over making me the asshole.
I am completely unable to make any kinds of plans for my own life because he does not keep any conditions. It is not the exception that he fails to inform me if he keeps his pickup time or tell me at least two days beforehand if he is planning on picking her up or not. I constantly have to ask him. Most of the time he spontaneously just changes his pickup time or cancels it. Well isn’t that a nice and easy way to make yourself feel in charge?!
So I am not even able to make plans for Friday evening without being fully prepared to cancel and keep everyone who wants to meet with me on hold until the very last minute, until I am sure he has picked her up.
Not to even think about ever planning a weekend.
This week he told me he would get her on Wednesday after Kindergarten and bring her back on Sunday.
Then he told me he would get her on Friday and bring her back to Kindergarten on Tuesday.
Then he told me he wants to pick her up on Friday at 9pm! Excuse me?
The he finally changed to picking her up on Saturday in the morning and bring her back on Tuesday in the evening.
And I changed all my plans every time.
You might be prone to ask why I am keeping up with that kind of behaviour. I ask you, what is the solution?
He is fully aware that, of course, I am always ready to pick up my child. It is an empty threat to tell him if he cancels no one is getting my daughter home from Kindergarten and he knows that. Obviously.
He still is the father and has full custody so I am not able to keep him from seeing her.
If I do something like: „okay, you did not keep your appointment then you do not get her at all, try again next week.“ I do not curtail him. He has enough other things to fill his time. He only shrugs and goes to bang his girlfriend and comes back to his daughter next week – no Biggy for him. I hurt her, because she waits for him.
Nobody can make him see her and nobody can make him keep his appointments. There is no law or judge for this. And if we learned one thing about Mr. M. – he does absolutely nothing that is not threatened with consequences.
He only acts on direct and unavoidable penalty from above and there is none for making me constantly jump through hoops and have a wank about it.