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Responsibility? Like … What?

When he left he did it the „have a nice life“ kind of way.

He moved out and from that day did not pay anything except some fantasy amount, he called alimony for his daughter.

As I told you I had gotten a lawyer as soon as he showed his face. He first thought he could do it without a lawyer and made his daddy reply to my lawyer’s first letter. Of course she did not go for his bullshit and so he had to find a real lawyer.

He claimed that his lawyer had told him the amount of alimony he had to pay for his child if that is true the man was either heavily drunk or has a problem with numbers because the money was even under the minimum limit of alimony in our country.

I know, there are many, many fathers who do not pay at all so why am I complaining?

Because to himself and everyone who listens to him (his parents f.e.) he is the father who does everything right for his child! He is the father who of course pays for his child, who would never do anything that is not the best for his child.

If that would be true, if you really are the concerned father that only wants to do right for his child you do not pay too little for your daughter. Could he have known? Of course he knew. My lawyer told him the correct amount or she at least should have made him suspicious. You see, if in doubt, there is also the possibility to pay a little more just to be safe for your child (of course!!) and get the money bag as soon as the judge tells you it was too much.

Okay – so first he did not pay enough for his child.

He naturally decided to not pay me on cent. The really, really strange thing here is – his lawyer should have told him that in the end there would be absolutely no was around it! His lawyer should have made it clear to him that in the end in front of a judge the question would never be if he had to pay only how much, which would inevitably lead to the fact that he would have to pay all the money in return. So either his lawyer did not explain that to him in order to make more money with him or he did explain it and Mr. M thought he knew better.

Either way the really sad thing here is, that if you move out and leave your child behind in an apartment that was rented for a family you very deliberately embrace the possibility that the mother of your child can no longer afford the rent and your child looses the roof over her head.

That is the one threat you immediately constitute. Willing and on purpose.

I had to lend money from my grandparents to be able to pay the rent until a judge would speak.

And bye the way, do you really think you can have a marriage for 11 years and a child and just leave without paying? I mean you really think it is absolutely within your rights to just leave the other half of what has been your family behind without any responsibilities? Are you serious?

This man really thinks he has to pay because I am mercenary and not because he left a structure he had helped and decided to built and cannot risk to let it collapse from one moment to the other because there is child involved. That is why it is not the greedy women who want you money it is the law! It is the law that for the first year you have to support the half of your family you left behind to give everybody time to build an new live, to prevent that the woman and child (or even children) completely fall of the grid. That is the reason you have to pay and not because I want your money!!

You accused me of wanting your money during our marriage and you accuse me after and it really is the only thing you think about.

I don’t think you ever realized that the judge did not for one second raise the question if you have to pay she only calculated how much. Maybe that should tell you something.

I know that so many women out there have the same struggle get no money at all and have to constantly fight for their livelihood but I also heard different stories and met different men. There are men out there who were raised well and have enough consciousness in their hearts to understand the bigger context. That’s what so many are missing and don’t have the ability to see – the bigger context. It is not the stupid old annoying wife you finally managed to get rid of – it is your child who lives with said woman. It is their lives you decrease in the first place.

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