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“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.” (Edmund Burke)

The other day I had a conversation with my mother and she told me something about a friend of hers. During her story I suddenly remembered something about Mr. M. and how I always hated his blatant disregard for other people. When we visited my grandparents f.e. I tell the absolute truth when I say my grandparents have always been nothing but welcoming and niceto him. We came to their house to sit in the garden, to drink coffee and eat handmade cake and so on.

Mr.M. a grown man of 40 years sat there at the table and looked into his cell phone for hours. My grandparents are nearly 90 years old and he has the effrontery to not engage at all! And do not think they did not recognize it. They did and they did feel disregarded. When I asked him what his parents would have to say about me if I behaved like that at their table there was no real answer just some sheepish looks and nothing further. I asked him to please have the minimum of politeness to put the phone down but that did not help anything. How can one be too self-absorbed to even follow the ground rules?

His parents always patronized me and are endlessly nitpicky. His mother tried to explain to me how my own dishwasher has to be loaded and his father got nervous when I did not sit on his sofa the way he liked it, because it could lose its form. But around them I behaved myself, I always staid polite and I absolutely did not ignore them in their own home. Yes, I recognized that before I had a child with him. Yes, I overlooked it. Can you really end a relationship immediately because a man does not know how to behave himself sometimes? I realized he was rude, rude to strangers and rude to people he knew but I did not regard is as a big warning sign for our future. Maybe it should have rung more alarm bells. In hindsight I always abhorred the way he raised himself over other people. He absolutely lives with the conviction that he is better, smarter more inclined then others. He mocked everything and everybody and I always wondered with which right.

Sometimes when we drove in the car together he liked to insult everyone and everything. Do not misunderstand me… I myself do swear like a sailor when I am driving but what bothered me with him was that he regularly shouted at old people. Things like „walk faster old bag“. They did not do anything wrong they were just old and slow for his likeing and it bothered me to hear him talk like that. I told him very often that one day he will be old, too.

I was aware that very many people did not like him because of his behavior but for a very long time I lived in the belief that he wasn’t like that towards me and that would be enough.

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