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„We all boil at different degrees“ (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Until a few weeks ago I worked three jobs and I started therapy with my daughter. On top there were the normal everyday tasks and for good measure I suffered one colon inflamation after the other. I realized I was very close to slip into e very unhealthy state of mind. My panick attacks threatened to come back more and more often and I felt queasy all the time. You know the feeling you have before an important test. In addition I was very close to start crying many times. All in all the warning signs where hard to ignore. Even for me. So I quit job number three and I found myself a psychiatrist. My last therapy was about 15 years ago and I figured it could only help.

So how does my week look at the moment?

Once a week I drive my daughter to kindergarten, then I rush to my therapy and then I rush to work.

Once a week I take my daughter to her therapy in the morning, then I drive her to kindergarten and then I rush to work.

Every two weeks or so I have to drive my daughter to kindergarten, get to my daughter‘s therapist for „parents hour“ and then hurry to work.

It was okay that way because job number three was gone.

So two weeks ago the therapist suggested ergo therapy for my daughter. So now I have another appointment I have to get to. This time after kindergarten. Meaning, I have to leave work early to make it.

Again, I managed.

But only this week the strain got too much again: On Monday I discovered that my girl as a big fistula on her front tooth (she hurt the tooth when she was about 2). So I rushed to the dentist in the evening only to find out that the tooth has to be removed and it has to be done with anesthesia. What does that mean? In addition to everything I already enumerated I have to see her pediatrician, I have to go with her to an appointment at the dentist for preparation and then another appointment for the actual removal.

I sat there in the waiting room and fought hard against my blooming panick attack. I was breathing for about 10 minutes to get it under control.

Again I have reached a point of too much!

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