I already mentioned that Mr. M spent a great deal of our daughter’s first -I’d say 3 years- playing World of Warcraft. To be honest I played myself. For years we were playing together for hours and hours. Who has experience with these kind of games knows what I am talking about for the rest of you let’s say it is very time consuming. I cut back on the gaming when I was pregnant because I knew that it could not work with a baby. If you have a baby you cannot (well ok – you can but I don’t think that’s what a responsible parent does) spend most of your time in front of a screen.
So till the time the baby was born I had stopped playing almost entirely. I remember that I did play now and then with my sleeping preemie on my belly but I was to focused on her. What I did play instead- I have to be honest here- was farming stuff, Those little games that do not require 5 hours of raiding etc.
Why do I tell you that? Well, because Mr. M did not quit or cut back. He spent his free time in the game. He played in his office if there was nothing to do, he played at home, he played on the weekends and he started to take the child on his lap when she was trying to get his attention. As long as she was a baby I did not object because she was not old enough to focus on the screen.
The problem started when she was getting older. Like a prayer wheel I told him to not let her watch this game the older she got the more angry I was.
Do you think you can guess what his solution was????
He started to show her kids stuff from You Tube on the left screen while he was playing on the right!!!!!! That meant two things: He very, very early introduced her to watching TV AND I had a new problem: He would not stop letting her watch! Never! Every single time I had to tell him after a while that it was enough now. Without my intervention he would have let her watch TV as long as he was playing. That tactic still did not save my 2 year old daughter from the horror images of his World of Warcraft Game! Of course she saw these terrible figures on the other screen!
That’s when I got really angry and insisted that this had to stop.
Mr. M ( a 39 year old grown man) told me he totally gets it and he would cease it….when I left the room he turned the screen back on with his daughter on his lap. He thought I would not realize that. Like a 5 year old boy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One thing I will never forget in my entire live is:
I once asked Mr M. if he would please watch his daughter so I could take a bath. I explicitly told him it would not take long and if he could please not watch TV with her but play something or read something. He said okay to my fucking face! As soon as I lay in the bathtub I heard the computer running with her You Tube stuff. I was so angry I could have puked! When I got out of my bath I asked him why he did that! Why he was again putting her in front of the TV when I explicitly asked him not to??? He answered me with a fucking smug little grin:“But we did not watch TV.„
When this problem ever came up again he liked to argue that I was playing, too and that I also held her on my lap.
Yes I did that. I played Farmville and I held her on my lap during that. She was mostly painting or doing something else on my desk in that time.
I don’t know but the one big difference was, that the baby never ever asked for it or demanded to see the game. While she was constantly whining and asking to watch the TV stuff he had gotten her used to. She wanted to watch that all the time, every day and it was a constant fight on my side to tell her no.
The cows and the growing corn on my screen did not interest her at all. So yes, maybe I am having double standards here but maybe you want to compare a Farmville cow to a character from WOW if you don’t already know both.